When I Knew

I'm not a kid anymore, but I have one.

I'd like to say that the moment it happened was when she slid not-so-effortlessly from her cocoon. But it wasn't. I fought it for quite a while after that. For almost a year, I kept on living life with basically the same attitude. My main concerns were trying to eek out as much time as possible to watch TV or sleep in, party with my band-mates, and make enough money to pay the bills and go out to eat as much as possible.


Of course, Dominique aided in my gradual transition. She reminded me on many occasions of my responsibilities and the necessity to think ahead in life. But honestly, I think she was still holding on the her single-life attitude for a while after Amelie was born as well.     

No, the earliest I can remember thinking, "I'm too old for this, I've got considerations," was in Berlin. We were there visiting Dominique's parents and sister. Her sister, Petra, had invited us to a night on the town. I agreed, naturally. We set off that evening around nine, just Dominique and I as Petra was working at a bar at the time. We hopped around from club to bar to cafe for a few hours before meeting Petra at her work.

After spending some time there, we decided to take a cab to east Berlin and go to a club Petra liked. It was dark and had the most disgusting bathroom, literally, that I have ever seen. We drank sweet beer and tried to yell at each other over the techno music. As we left, the cops were arresting someone. We waited for the cab. I looked at the time-5am. Dominique and I looked at each other and I said, "Amelie is going to be up in three hours. We're mom and dad. We're too old for this." She agreed.

Looking back, it was a fun night and obviously we all survived. It makes me think of something my friend Lloyd, a veteran dad, said to me: "When you have the option of sleeping or having fun, take having fun." I still agree though I don't always take his advice..... And the battle continues.